bathroom

It’s morning at the station. What could have happened? 

Theory 1 – one of those baby-gender-reveal events was about to take place in our green room, with the hope it would go viral. Two people were to swordfight with pink & blue balloon swords. One would be popped, leaving the other one intact – that one would be the revelation of the baby’s gender. However, at the last second, someone did some math. They realized that doing a gender-reveal TODAY would confirm the date of conception, which would coincide directly with that week-long sales retreat held a few months ago. In a panic, they ran with the balloons and hid them in the one place they thought no one would look – the men’s bathroom, furthest stall from the door. Could they have disposed of them in our corporately-approved waste receptacles? Sure! But then, they’re plastic. Are they recyclable? No way to tell, too lazy to look it up, now – it’s someone else’s problem.

Theory 2 – Someone badly misunderstood the Urban Dictionary definition of ‘bathroom sword fighting’.

Theory 3 – Someone plans to murder a clown later today, but is expecting to be frisked before the meeting. At some point they will get up from the meeting and excuse themselves to use the bathroom. They will then return with the swords and kill the clown. They will pop the balloons and dispose of them, hiding the evidence. They will escape on foot, taking the cannoli.