YOUR WINNER IS! This Chinese burglar, who brained his buddy with a brick:

https://youtu.be/Yp6pjobrHU4

The other nominees:

The bar staff who tried to publicly shame rapper Jay-Z, for tipping only 14% on his bar bill – that is, only $11,100!

The man near Detroit who tried to get rid of skunks in his crawlspace using smoke bombs – and burned down his house. No skunks were recovered.

The New Brunswick bank robbers who were caught while making their getaway – in the Tim Horton’s drive thru.

And finally, the people in the UK who, alarmed at the chicken shortage that has shuttered half of the KFC locations in the country, have been calling emergency services about it. (Their equivalent of 911.)