On May 29th, I will see Brutus “the Barber” Beefcake for the second time in my radio career. Which is a sentence I never thought I would type. I’m also not sure, with his advancing age, that I have put the quotation marks in the right place. Should it maybe be Brutus the Barber “Beefcake”? Not sure. Last time I saw him he seemed to still be in better shape than I am, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

wrestling poster

I get to host this Great North Wrestling event, May 29th at the Smiths Falls memorial centre. And while I will get to see Brutus the Barber for the second time, he will almost certainly not remember the first time. I remember it partly because he was accompanied by the original WWE diva Sunny, and partly because I saw his weiner. You know, how wrestlers just take off their pants and get into their tights like no one is around. And you look up from your script and aahhh! Penis! Right there in my face! This time around, I will spend more time on the other side of the change room.

I was asked to host by my buddy Mike, who’s a cop in Smiths Falls and now is making his local-pro wrestling debut. I guess he’s spent every spare second of his time since returning from Afghanistan lifting weights so that he can out-flex most of us and be a proper wrestling fellow. In preparation for this, I’ve exhausted the limits of my poor-to-average production skills to put together this intro for him:

See? Cop sirens! ‘Cause he’s a cop. Get it?

There will be a few other stars there as well – Hannibal, a fixture in Ottawa wrestling for years, and John Maloney, a city councillor from Smiths Falls who apparently also goes by the name ‘The Grapecrusher’. I’ve got to say, I would rather lose a wrestling match to a guy named ‘The Barber’ than to a guy named ‘The Grapecrusher’. Not interested in experiencing HIS finishing move.

So put it in your calendars – it’s a Friday night, it’s Smiths Falls, it’s nearby and it is a chance to see some great entertainment and a mega-star from the 80s. And some of the proceeds are going to Rink Of Dreams. Hope to see you there, it’ll look something like this: