On June 5th, CHEZ 106 will be participating in the annual Brady Wheeler Memorial charity softball tournament. In last year’s tournament, the CHEZ team lost to the Ottawa Sun team in the finals on a walk-off home run, hit by a guy wearing shades and a backward baseball cap. This year, first-time participant Amy Volume says she’s out for revenge.

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“Last year, that guy in sunglasses and a backward hat showed us up. We’ve been waiting a long time for this, but now’s our chance. We’re going to show him.”

When asked what the player did that has her so riled up, Volume explained that although she wasn’t there last year, she was told that “he high-fived his first base coach before even rounding first.” Citing the unwritten rules of baseball, Amy asserted that dispensing a high-five before touching a bag is one of the ultimate signs of disrespect in charity softball.

Amy said she would not wait until this year’s finals before exacting retribution on the Ottawa Sun for the insult. “It’s going to happen in the first round robin game of the tournament. In the game against the Sun, I’m going to plunk the first batter I face right in the ribs.”

It was pointed out to Amy that as this was a slo-pitch tournament, she would be pitching to her own team. Was she really going to plunk a team-mate in the ribs?

“Absolutely! It doesn’t matter who gets hit, what matters is that the message is sent!”

Amy plans to throw the first slo-pitch ball right into the ribs of the CHEZ 106 leadoff hitter, then turn to the area on the field being patrolled by the guy in sunglasses and backward ball cap, to stare him down.

When informed of Amy’s plan, presumptive CHEZ leadoff hitter Vikta Paulo said he understood.  “I get it – it’s one of charity softball’s unwritten rules, and there must be a response.”

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When asked how he was planning to respond to being plunked, Paulo said he hadn’t yet decided. “If I’m not too badly hurt, I’ll likely charge the mound. But if I have to come out of the game with a rib injury, I’ll probably just sit on the bench until the fifth inning, then beat up a ball boy.” Asked to specify whether that would be an Ottawa Sun ball boy or a CHEZ 106 ball boy, Paulo answered “I’m not sure – does it matter? It’s hard to keep track. Someone really ought to write down all these unwritten rules so we can keep them straight.”