YOUR WINNER IS:

The woman in China who climbed into an X-Ray machine at a train station because she refused to let go of her handbag for fear it would be stolen or disappear.

https://youtu.be/LckBeju8_KE

Your other nominee was:

And the thief who stole a random box off a porch in Santa Cruz, California. Only to, presumably, discover later it was destined for an entomologist, and was full of 500 cockroaches.